Soliloquy

You merrily sit atop clouds of hopeless allure,
While I walk these shores of strife and endure
I remember that this is not where we began
They tell me I have to go now, I hope I can.

You are the sunshine in those vast fields of hope
While I am still clinging on to that very rope
Where the clouds of anguish want me to quit
God, it hurts more than I would ever admit.

But it seems you have flown far from the Sun
And the burden on my shoulder weighs a ton.
Your misty eyes take me back to those days,
When we both didn’t know these worldly ways.

When the Sun shone bright on your golden skin
And the long, green forests urged us to begin
All that had been lost was brought back by time
They hadn’t told us back then that love was a crime.

Enchanting times of a disconsolate emotion,
But back then it was really supposed to be fun
Oh, I suppose those hedges remember our names
And no wonder those trees live up to their claims.

That there never was a time better, nor has been
You said goodbye, but what did you really mean?
Cross the waters of humorless heartbreak for me
And tell me how it all made sense to set me free.

Tell me how you could walk with your head held high
When, at the bottom of the stairs, you’d seen me cry
Say those words out loud and break this pretence
Why didn’t you let me say anything in my defence?

I could walk bridges for you, bridges that were burnt
But after you left, this is something that I have learnt
Those carefree days of joyful laughter and fun
Who cared to tell me that the games had just begun?

I’ll keep my promise to you, no, that I won’t break
Even if tonight it’s just my ashes that you will take.
I have missed you in parts and missed you in whole,
But I have missed those days of glorious sunshine more.

What makes you so right after all that you did?
Is it the sound of your laughter or the way you hid?
Or am I hopelessly falling again to your dewy lips?
For once I find that it’s not my mind that slips.

Open your heart and give me one more chance,
I’ll be here forever, turn around and give me a glance
Easy enough to show you that I’m in it for life
There are no chains here, just some endless strife.

This life consists of no meaning, just some steep climbs
That know no reason and have changed with the times
A force unstoppable that could never be seen
But who was to tell it of what could have been?

But I will walk those roads for you, and I will say
That whatever it takes, I’ll be here to save the day
You have questions and I have a lot to show
If I could tell you, I would let you know.

It has all come down to the truth of impermanence
But who is to speak to this horrific distance?
And tonight I would have surely asked you to stay
But you have questions and you go your own way.

The illusion of togetherness was never ultimate
But I hope you at least carry around that bracelet
Like I do, and it has stayed with me in every moment
If only these walls knew how they became so distant.

There is no mercy, not in the lives we chose
Have you seen those flowers every time it snows?
This is a small price we have to pay to numb the pain
Just a plethora of torment for two lives living in vain.

With these few words that I will now leave behind,
I hope you see yourself in them and come to find
That it was never about those memories or have ever been
I hope you do what I never did, and sweep them clean.