Soliloquy

When my grandfather opens his eyes, he finds
Himself in a world devoid of the warmth he had
Once shown to strangers. My grandmother, in
Mock abeyance to the rules she sets for herself,

Curls her lips when she sees me. Having disowned
Me the day I was born, she has swum far from
The shores of the isle of forgiveness both of us
Know so little about. When she smiles, I fear

For the dimples in her chin and the tasteless
Odour in her eyes – they have been summoned
From a country of no hope to put on a show today.
My father watches my helplessness, and cries.

My grandfather tries to hug me, but comes up
Short in the effort to be sanguine. In her own
Way of showing displeasure, my grandmother
Walks past my shadows and fails to pay heed.

The lives they have led seem to have ebbed
Past the isle where they once made their home.
Once respected, perhaps feared, they have now
Become painful reminders of a time I wish to forget.

Whatever love once existed in the shallow waters
In which I swam off the coast of that isle has
Dissipated into a distance that time has not healed;
One day I shall become my grandfather

And upturn the rules of a world I did not create
While imposing my ideas of justice on those I did
Not like. The wheel of time shall dearly regret taking
Me along while I shall forget to look in the mirror.

In that mirror, I find myself becoming my worries,
Only to see my father being reflected back to me.
A part of the nowhere generation, he has no home
And I offer little solace but the whispering of tears.

In that mirror, my mother exists to my grandparents
As an afterthought, as an idea that would have
Been best to avoid thirty years ago; for all their
Crimes, they cannot avoid who they see in the glass.

When the azure waters off the coast of this timid
Isle of forgiveness reflect back with a shade of
Truth almost similar to what he would expect, my
Father signs the portrait at the bottom with a flourish.

I am late to arrive at the dock and am held back
By choppy winds emanating from the east with
A thunderstorm in tow. The boat I was supposed
To be on has left already. I know the rules.

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