Soliloquy

For Medhanshi Sanyal

You took my hand and led me past the doors of where
I had once feared to enter; my childhood, your childhood-
Separated by a vacuum of nineteen years came flashing by
As the Dairy Milk slipped out of your hand and into mine.

Embarrassed to have received what I should have given,
I stood in awe of your largesse as did the para dog Ruku
With his tail wagging without purpose or intention;
Your mother saw you talking to him that afternoon.

Your hands moved in a silent dance that I had not
Been party to until today; your feet moved as if they
Had known the coordination you asked of them
And trained for all the time you didn’t know me.

My childhood, your childhood – separated by a vacuum
Of nineteen years – where did I lose track of them?
I looked into your eyes and saw some of my frantic
Running up and down the stairs while your father

Chased me and handed me perhaps my first bat;
I wonder if it is to someone else you look up to
Now that I will soon have no part to play in your life.
I wonder if you care at all about such moments.

The fragrance of the jasmine filled the room upstairs
As you ran to disentangle yourself from everything
That reminded you of the horror that was school;
When we had gone to pick you up, you smiled at me

Not knowing what else to do. When introduced to me
By your father as an uncle whom you did not know
Existed, your smile broadened and a shy hand came
Out to shake mine. You seemed unfazed at having to

Come across someone as alien as I was to you;
It was much later that I heard you asking your father
Where the country called Hyderabad was, and if
You could ever visit it. I also heard you scream

In delight as you entered the house and jumped
Straight into the arms of your mother to tell her
How you had met a new uncle whom you wanted
To invite for lunch. You swept past me as you walked

With the fancy wherewithal and understanding
That most six-year-olds would have been divested of
In a childhood specked with innocence. I turned around
To leave even as your smile left me bereft of words.

***

When I see you next – ten years from now if I’m lucky –
I would not recognise you, nor you me. I shall keep
The silver foil encasing the Dairy Milk with the faint
Hint of almonds intact, with today’s date written on it.

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