Soliloquy

These leaves that fall without your permission,
These wanderings, these inhibitions that
Evade your grasp and float mercilessly
Into the vacuum created by my absence
And these impediments that you display.

Restrained by the colour of silk on your
Skin and condemned by the very touch
Of the floating currents of my words, I hope
To escape into the realms of the otherworld
Without your knowledge or clutching at straws.

The shadows fall fitfully into the evening
Light that filters in through the darkened
Corners of my mind. No wonder has ceased to
Amaze me as much as your disapproval at my
Lustre being lost in this bedlam you did not create.

What could have brought two kindred souls
Together more quickly than this censure
Of everything that went beyond our noses;
You choosing to neglect everything that was
Surpassing your widespread boundaries

And me trying to forge an identity of which
I had been no author. What of the unfettered
Chains of misconduct that crept their
Way up to the vast arenas of incoherence
In your absence, or the reluctant truths?

These walls leave opinions that delve
Deeper into the contours of my mind than
The feeling of imagined circumstances
Ever did. This transient moment of lost
Time seeks its way out of the mess I made.

What of the dew that falls upon the prying
Leaves of poplar in this inaudibly unfulfilled
Monsoon? What of the dust clouds that fall
Into the earth with a vengeance that often
Bears their unwillingness to cohabitate?

The shoulders of this tired mind are congested
With relentless drizzles of an unfaithful stupor,
As are its hands cloaked in a shrinking slice
Of courage often masquerading as the lone
Knight of truth and honour this evening…

Who bears responsibility for the tears that
You do not shed, or the fears you do not get
To whisper? Who questions this tremendous
Inability of ours to pass this night by without
So much as a murmur while the moon says hello?

Goodbye to the words that made you stop
And look me in the eye, and goodbye to all
The fancy mutterings of hope and faith
That took them by surprise; I am ready now
To revel in the shame of tonight’s rain.