Soliloquy

We start trembling from the midnight cold
which catches us unawares and questions
the very enigma of our involvement;
these questions that we have no answers to
have kept us safe, never once forgetting,

We’ve never been this close
and yet we’ve never been this distant either;
what remaining pieces of “us” that there are
will now be flung across,
immersed and eradicated in this sea of lost dreams,

What are the clouds so angry about?
The rain keeps lashing against this tiny boat
of ours in a rage that can almost be touched;
I wonder if you can hear the murmuring of the stars
as you stare deep into the horizon,

Nothing has changed; the hands of the clock
gallop soundlessly, the tingling sensation at the
back of my tongue remains, the careless whisper
of your existence inside my heart endures;
there were no limits to what might have been;

You’ll lean in for one last time
hoping to catch my breath on your shoulders
just as I’ll look into your eyes and shiver
in stunned silence at the depths
that we could have touched; it’s all a bit too late now,

I still want you,
and maybe you feel that you want me too;
then why does this distance seem unsurmountable
and why does the sun take traces of our mistakes
along with it whenever it pays you a visit?

Maybe you think of me at night too
when it’s cold outside and the shadows
do not make for good company and the voices
inside your head stop squabbling over
every little fight that you’ve had to know

Maybe you’ve found a way to quieten those voices;
maybe you’ve found a way of living without me
but I can never be sure;
The dew drops on my front lawn nod their heads
in agreement when I ask them the same,

The fires echo our songs for one last time
and the walls underneath join hands
at making us memorise those conversations;
I’d rather have your smile slow my breath down
but this room has already lit up in anticipation,

The breeze hits my face as we lay down
on the same boat, drifting aimlessly
under the moonless sky;
and just as our fingertips are about to touch
the hills lean in to catch a glimpse.