Soliloquy

I’ll call you under trying circumstances
but there is still going to be a tiny bit of fragility,
a little bit of tenderness hidden inside this crevice
I don’t know why you never show that side
of yours to the world, I can only guess
but it strikes me before I can call out your name.

To tell you that I love you
I would have to admit it to myself first
and that is by no means an easy task, for
this strongly fortified heart discloses no piece of it at all
and shows no glimpse of what it had been before,
before you had walked in from the sunshine.

Admission makes me show weakness
A tiny current which runs along the back of my head
and tells me that I would be nothing without you
but that’s not the part that scares me the most
It’s about going on without you holding my hand
that seems scarier than saying I love you.