Soliloquy

(1)
You have visited in the past
And left your calling card before too
But true to your name, you’ve never lingered
For too long, perhaps you’re just as scared
As I am of you, maybe a bit more
But nobody taught me how to treat you
When you paid a visit
And left your footmarks in my indelible memory
Nor did anyone tell me to speak to you
In hushed voices over the phone
So that nobody could overhear the two of us talking

(2)
Melancholy, you were always more part of me
Than you were part of them
No wonder you chose this little boy
Who was scared of every loudmouthed upstart
But who was I to question your judgement
Nobody ever said that you visited
Only in particular times of the day
When the going got tough and the road seemed longer
You gave me an escape- a sort of window between my doors
A heaven tangled halfway between a man falling
And a boy learning how to climb those very walls

(3)
Melancholy, you gave me the reason to believe in myself
When all they said was that you were a big fraud
And I used to smile secretly when I overheard them saying
That you never attended their private outbursts
But upheaval or not, I have never seen you disheartened
You never seemed dejected, it always appeared to me
That you weren’t ever visited by your brothers
Midair between where I was and where I wanted to be
Was the land of the uncertain where you hung around at night
But I can call myself blessed, even fortunate
To count you as a friend.