Soliloquy

Dear 5-year-old me,
I wish you had taken those rides up the see-saw and slide
And not refused to cry when they caught you in seek-and-hide
And not pretended that it stung when the dog bit your arm
Sadly there was no one around to tell you it meant no harm
I wish I was there to tell you to enjoy the summer breeze
And also to tell you to skin your heart and your knees.

Dear 12-year-old me,
I wish you did not learn to cuss or grow up so fast,
I wish you had respected those whose opinions you asked
But you were busy pretending to be someone you couldn’t be
I wish someone told you not to climb that particular tree
You had gone down that road but came to a dead-end
And I wish you had sent her that letter you had penned.

Dear 15-year-old me,
I wish you had got THAT hundred and not lobbed it to mid-wicket
Alas, it was not to be and you lost out on an India U-16 ticket
I’m glad you got out of the depression that engulfed you
Muddled up thoughts left soon enough to give a clearer view
I hope you didn’t let those ideas linger on for too long
I hope you moved away from the monsters who did you wrong.

Dear 17-year-old me,
I wish by now you had understood the world was a cruel place
I hope you had listened to your heart before you began to chase
That wild dream with elastic hopes untainted with your blood
Despair tugging relentlessly kicking your face to the mud
I wish you’d said those three words to her when you got the chance
Not forgetting the way you felt when you exchanged that first glance.

Dear 19-year-old me,
I hope you have picked yourself up from the lingering dust
And I hope you haven’t let your heart lose your soul’s trust
I wish I could tell you that the fight is not yet lost
No substitute for blood and sweat, no matter what cost
I hope you have imbibed in yourself the quality to always give
And I also hope that by now, you have started to live.