Soliloquy

The curse of expectation and the cancer of fate
Clouds with no lining just when life seems great
But I will not walk away without putting up a fight
Give me a chance and then let me walk into the night

It’s the poison of the standards I have set
Of dripping every ounce of blood and sweat
Or is it of the times that I gave no excuse
Or of this struggle that I continually choose?

There is no going down in this fight alone
I was too young in ’13, I really hadn’t known
That every step I took would lead to my demise
The lows are what I always had, not the highs

So as the crowds dont come out any more
The glass breaks, my house is burnt to its floor
The cameras are finally off, there is no light
There’s no longer anyone to pity me and my plight

As I slowly grow out of sight, out of mind
I might really go out of mine
But the question that my mind keeps asking
Is it worth the pain, worth all the sting?

The curtain is drawn now behind closed doors
Just a few hours and then I’ll be yours
I cannot keep this facade going any more
I fall apart down to my core, didnt know before

So when I fall from these heights, I’ll be fine
Descending into a grave that I can call mine
I’d rather be the devil than quit the fight
I’m not going when I have a rope this tight

So as yesterday fades and tomorrow takes birth
I might finally get and deserve what I am worth
But will I really shatter this pretence for once
I am closer than you think- as the fox runs.