Soliloquy

Dear dreams,
You enter through the door, punch the wall on the way but only if you’d known whom it might hurt more. I know why you’re coming. I say, “I need you” like I mean it. But I say it instinctively. We are now standing face to face. You slap me, I shout back. You punch me, I rock back. Oh, we’re going back all over again. How many times do we have to do this? There was Friday but now it’s Tuesday. You then tell me you’re leaving as if you partly expect me to walk over and stop you from leaving. You think that’s what comes naturally to me. But hard as I try, I’ve learned over the years that though you tell me you really care, you lie. And your lies force me to lie.

Now you sit on the sofa and beckon me to do the same but hasn’t it been years since I beckoned you to do something? This time you say it’s not working. But my dreams won’t work until I try. And you say that you’ll miss me but I’ve heard it a million times so I don’t get excited as much. Again you tell me that you’re leaving. Do I really want you to stay?

I don’t say so partly ’cause I’m very embarrassed and partly ’cause I’m afraid. Now I jump up, just on my gut instinct I stop you from leaving. I won’t let my dreams go away so soon. It’s been five summers now. I snatch the keys and throw it away. It’s as if it was rehearsed a million times before this but it’s all I have. I ask you to quit playing, you shove me aside. We’re going back the same routine again and again and again. You punch me, I swerve aside. You miss it, I even have the grace to laugh. We’re fighting again, now on the ground.

Did this ground just forget that love was made and broken right on top of it? And hey, here’s a mirror (I don’t know what it’s doing at a ground). It looks at us fighting again.
It’s tired too, to see the well-rehearsed skit again.